Woman Keeps Dreaming About Her Ex-Boyfriend
Even Though She Hates Him to Distraction!
I recently exchanged a few e-mails with a woman with a killer sense of humor. I can’t really share her dream, here, with you because…
- Over the course of 7 e-mails, it was all broken up.
- Her language… um… doesn’t translate to a PG blog!
I won’t even share her real name, here, so she can remain a mystery lady. We’ll call her Angela because it’s a cool name.
Here’s the basics of her dream: She had about 8 dreams about a particular ex-boyfriend. In each of the dreams, they were happy, laughing, and having a grand old time. She said the settings were always romantic (with one being in a fairy-tale type forest even). The dreams were everything the real life relationship was NOT. In the dreams, the ex boyfriend was funny and happy. He was always laughing and buying her great gifts. In reality, he was a real “sour puss” who was always miserable, unhappy, and seemed to have a “simmering anger inside of him.” In the two years they were together, she said he only bought her a couple of things, and they were only for Christmas and her birthday.
However, in each of her dreams, he would surprise her with her favorite candy and even her favorite Starbucks drink!
Angela feels that the years spent with her “D— Ex” were a complete waste of time and wonders what she ever saw in him in the first place.
I learned that she has not found the right guy yet. She says that her miserable years with her “D—- Ex” have made her afraid to take a chance on someone else. Apparently the break up was ugly and she is afraid of another disaster. Angela wanted to know why in the world she’s dreaming such lovely dreams about someone she… in her own words, “Hates to distraction.” In fact, in one e-mail, she said if he were in the road and happened to be on fire, she’d just roast marshmallows.
This dude left a great impression!
To add insult to injury, “D—- Ex” has moved on and is very happy. He’s engaged and, according to Angela they both smile a lot and seem sickeningly happy with one another.
The last thing Angela wrote was, Please don’t try to tell me I have feelings for this jerk because I don’t believe I do. I’d rather drink acid than even $%&@(&^ look at him.
Nah, she won’t hear those words from me. I don’t think for one second she still loves him or even likes him!
What does she LOVE? The idea of being in love. She LOVES (and wants) the very thing she pictured in her dream: Someone to laugh, smile, and have a great life with. Someone who IS her own Prince Charming… making her happy and even buying special things for her.
Who doesn’t want that?!?!
One of the most common dreams I hear about is the dream of an ex. I don’t think it’s the most common type of dream people have, but it does seem to be the one that upsets people the most! They’re almost always like Angela… “I hate him! Why am I dreaming about him?!” OR “Getting away from her was the best day of my life, why is she in my dreams?!?!” One man said, “I finally got free from her yelling and nagging, and here she is tormenting me in my dreams with that same screeching voice!”
That one made me laugh out loud.
Like Angela, a lot of people are looking for the same thing: LOVE. They want that special someone to watch tv with, go out to eat with, and talk about their day with. Our mind generally won’t “create someone new” for us in the dream. It wont’ conjure up Mr. or Mrs. Right. It will use people and faces that represent this person to us. For example: an ex boyfriend may be symbolic of the ideal boyfriend. An ex girlfriend may be symbolic of the girl you wish you could find.
By the same token, if you were to dream of a teacher, the role would probably be played by an ex teacher. It doesn’t mean they were a good one – it simply means they “fit” the title the brain needs them to fit.
Below are a few things I usually tell people about dreaming about exes:
- The dream usually has nothing to do with the exes, themselves. Never allow dreams to dictate your emotions. If you have “real” feelings for someone, you’ll think about them during the day, not while you sleep.
- The more you think about a particular dream (negative or positive), the more likely you are to dream it again. Don’t put an unpleasant ex on repeat!
- Sometimes, our subconscious mind will try to “work out” or “make sense of” things in the past – such as a failed relationship. It’s as though the brain says, “What went wrong? How can I not let that happen again? What could I have done differently?” If your brain seems to be on a quest for answers, think about the questions during the day. Writing down the answers may give you the closure you really need.
- I’ve read about hundreds of dreams (probably thousands, actually), and I’ve had “follow ups” with most of these dreamers. I have never…. not once… had a dreamer who was dreaming about an ex because there was still love there. Never.
While there are exceptions (of course), generally speaking – an ex is an ex for a reason. It did not work. Your subconscious mind wants your next relationship (especially if it’s a current one!) to work. These dreams are simply your mind’s way of looking for answers so that something bad/negative doesn’t happen again.
How to Improve Your Dream Recall or How to Remember Your Dreams
I got an e-mail recently from a woman who was “very, very frustrated” with a dream she had the night before. She said that she desperately wanted to remember the dream but could only remember a single fragment. Apparently she was new to the world of Dream Interpretation and Dream Analysis and had even (as I often suggest!) bought a Dream Journal!
Here’s what she had to say: I recently found your dream website and have been reading the articles. I think you’re right about dreams. We can learn alot about ourselves from what we dream. I have had 2 of my dreams analyzed by you and you were spot on each time. I bought a dream journal and started writing down my dreams. I do like you say and write them down as soon as I wake up. It’s a whole lot of fun!
However, last night I had a dream that I know was a very “busy” dream. I did a lot in it. But I can’t remember the dream. I am very, very frustrated because the dream didn’t stay with me. I’ve racked my brain trying to remember what happened but I can’t. I can only remember one thing: my family and I were in a city we once lived in in Indiana. What is someone supposed to do when their dream is lost like this? I usually remember all my dreams. Why is this one not coming to me? Thanks so much! – Carole
Below was my response: Carole, I feel your frustration! Even though I’m utterly fascinated with dreams (some might say obsessed), there are times when I can’t remember a dream either. You’re right – it’s very frustrating!
When you can’t remember a dream, below are a few tips that may help with the dream recall:
- First of all, try to determine your emotions in the dream. Were you excited, frantic, sad, frustrated, happy, or overwhelmed? Did you feel in control or out of control? Even if you can’t remember all of the details, if you can get in touch with the way the dream made you feel, you can still get a lot from the dream. This is where a Dream Journal comes in handy. If you have a string of days when you have to write down emotions like “overwhelmed” or “out of control,” you’ll get a great dream analysis from the emotions alone. Also, focusing on your emotions in the dream (and the emotions you felt when you first awoke from the dream) often helps you remember more about the dream. When you determine one of the emotions, ask yourself, “Why did I feel that way?” or “Who or what caused me to feel like this?”
- Think of colors in the dream. Not only can a dream’s colors help with the dream analysis, picturing the colors you saw in the dream can help you remember more about the dream. For example, if you were to remember the colors blue and yellow, you could then ask yourself, “Where were these colors?” You may remember that blue was on a particular house and yellow was a dress your mom wore. Usually, if you can remember where you saw the dream colors, you’ll remember more about the dream.
- Here’s a trick that helps a lot of people with their dream recall: Lie back down and assume the position! Lie comfortably in bed just as you would be while dreaming. If you normally use a fan when you sleep, turn it on. Free yourself of as many distractions as possible and simply lie there with your eyes closed, focusing on things you do remember from the dream. A word of warning, though: Don’t do this if you have cookies in the oven, someplace you have to be, or toddlers in the house. You just might drift off to sleep.
Finally, if you simply can’t remember anything else about the dream, write down what you do remember (even if it’s simply one word, like peaceful). Then move on. Tell yourself that if it were really, really important, you’d remember more of it. Just take from it what you can and move forward.
A word about this particular dream (returning to Indiana with family) – dreams in which we “go back” can have several meanings. For one, you could have been talking about old times recently – or you could have even seen a picture from this time. Many times that sets the stage for a dream to visit the past.
A second reason we dream about a past place is we miss something from the past. The same can be true about an ex, an old house, a place we once lived, etc. We may not have any love left for any of these things – but there may be one thing that we miss from that time. Perhaps an ex gave great neck rubs or we had great neighbors in a house we once lived in…. Focus on what you DO remember and think about the emotions you have surrounding this person, place or thing.
A third reason we have dreams that wander into the past is a very common one: We’re warning ourselves of past mistakes or past pains. It’s our mind’s way of saying, “Watch out!” A recent girl contacted me in the comments about dreams she was having about an ex. He had cheated on her and hurt her pretty badly. She’d seen him recently and had a couple of dreams about him. I believe her dreams about this heart-breaker were her brain’s way of saying, “Don’t you even think about going back there! This dude equals pain.”
If a dream about a place you once lived, there could have been pain or a personal mistake you made. Your dream could be trying to make peace with it once and for all.
Some would even say that the fact you can’t remember the dream indicates that you’ve done just that!
A Final Word About Dream Recall:
Remember what you can. Move on. If you keep a dream journal (which could simply mean writing them down in a notebook), write down what you do remember. If you can’t remember the dream, write down something like, “I can’t remember anything about this dream except….” If you’re frustrated, write that down. If you’re like, “Whatever, it’s not important,” write that down. When you keep a Dream Journal, you often begin to see a pattern. Perhaps on certain nights (when you’re more tired than usual), you’re less likely to remember dreams. Maybe certain medications, like allergy medicine, cause your dream recall to be foggy. This is why it’s important to really go into detail in your dream journal – writing down what medicine you took before bedtime, etc. Many people even write down what they ate!
In the end realize that sometimes our brain realizes when there isn’t anything of real value in a dream and it just lets it go.
Sometimes that’s exactly what we have to do.
Tip for Remembering Your Dreams
Keeping a dream journal actually trains your brain to remember dreams better. When you get into the practice of writing things down into your dream journal, your brain will soon realize that this is an important part of your life. It’ll become much better at remembering details that may have otherwise gotten away from you and been lost forever. Dream journals actually train your brain for better dream recall.
How to Have Lucid Dreams
Tips to Increase Your Chances of Lucid Dreaming
When I’m trying to explain lucid dreams to someone, I always tell them that a lucid dream is a dream that seems too real to be a dream – too good to be true. Everything in a lucid dream is more intense than in regular dreams.
In lucid dreams:
- Feelings are more pronounced
- Details are more vivid
- Blues are bluer, reds are redder, greens are greener, etc
- Everything, absolutely everything, is more intense
Some experts believe that you’ll never fully understand what a lucid dream is until you have one for yourself. There’s a lot of confusion surrounding these dreams – some dreamers aren’t sure if they’re dream was was a lucid dream or not. Some dreams may be borderline but, know this, if you have a lucid dream, you won’t have any doubts about it.
So the question that remains to be answered is this, “How can you make yourself experience lucid dreams?”
If only it were that easy. What we CAN do is set the stage for lucid dreams and create the right environment for lucid dreaming. Below are tips and suggestions that’ll put the odds of experiencing lucid dreams greatly in your favor.
How to Have Lucid Dreams
As I said below, the answer to having lucid dreams lies not in a simple one-and-done solution but rather in a series of steps that will improve your chances for inviting lucid dreaming. It’s all about becoming more in touch with your dreams. Think of it like this: You have to make a big deal of your dreams. The bigger the better!
- Keep a Dream Journal to improve your chances of having lucid dreams. I probably give this advice more than any other when it comes to dream interpretation and lucid dreaming. While keeping a journal requires a little more work on your part, it is so worth it in the long run. A dream journal helps you understand your dreaming patterns, can help you sort through emotions, sets the stage for lucid dreaming, and… let’s face it.. can provide fascinating reading material as the days, weeks, and months go by! Keep in mind, a dream journal will probably not be something your write in every single morning. Some dreams simply don’t stand out. You” write in your journal when either “pieces” of a dream stand out to you or dream symbols register with you. Some mornings, your dream journal may be as simple as one sentence. Example: “In my dream last night, Rosie was crying and I didn’t know why.” Keeping a dream journal will program you to pay more attention to your dreams, help you retain information, and (as I said above) make a big deal out of dreaming.
- Set the stage for lucid dreaming right before you fall asleep. Each night (or anytime you’re lying down to sleep), think of dreaming as you drift off. Ask yourself, “I wonder what I’ll dream about tonight…” Some people even like to “invite” dreams by telling themselves, “I will dream of a hot air balloon tonight!” or “I will see my brother in my dream tonight…” Some use code words and fixate on these words right before falling asleep. Basically these words are the dream symbols they wish to dream about. Again, it’s all about making a big “to do” about dreams and dreaming. The thought, here, is to think about dreams before you go to sleep and to think about dreams first thing upon waking.
- Use dream registers. Another trick for becoming more in touch with your dreams – and a way to connect your waking waking world with your dream world is to use “registers.” What are dream registers? These are something I, myself, coined the phrase for. The thought of having “registers” that connected the waking world with the dream world has always fascinated me. Whenever something we are passionate about in our everyday life shows up in our dreams and “registers” with us, it is a fascinating connection. For example, if you are passionate about baseball (one of my own greatest passions!) and have a dream where you are excited about a baseball game, it feels “right.” It’s as though the two worlds connected by your love for the sport. You can create your own “dream registers” and they can be colors, numbers, specific animals, or any inanimate object. Basically, here’s what you do: In your waking life (“the real world”), begin “registering” each time you see a particular thing. If you choose the color purple, for example, begin making a point of thinking, “There is purple!” each time you see the color. If you choose squirrels, each time you see one, think (or even say), “Squirrel!” (I’m having “Up” flashbacks now…) Whatever register you choose, stick with it! Also, it’s best not to choose more than one – although the temptation is great, choose one reigster. Person, place, thing, color.. your choice – just make it one. What you’re looking for is this, you want to “register” it such a regular basis that you begin “registering” it in your dream. When this happens, you have made a very vital connection between the two worlds and are WELL on your way to lucid dreaming.
- Positive Re-Enforcement. Many people swear by telling themselves such things as, “I will remember what I dream tonight.” and “I will have a lucid dream tonight.” I’ll be totally honest, I’ve never had success with this, but enough people have for me to list it here.
- Get into… way into.. dream interpretation and analysis. Well, you’re certainly in the right place! Use our dream dictionary to help solve the mystery of your dreams. You’ll also find our dream color guide and meaning of dream numbers page useful. You can also find countless dream symbols and dream interpretations on the dream blog, itself.
- Create the Scene, Ambiance, and Atmosphere that’ll invite lucid dreaming. To experience deeper sleep and, as a result, improve your chances of having lucid dreams, you need to make sure your bedroom is as comfortable, relaxing, and sleep-inducing as possible. Using your bedroom primarily for sleeping will help a great deal. Also, try to keep clutter to a minimum and comfort to a maximum. Lavender-scented room sprays (and even linen sprays) also help a great deal. You may also want to check out this wonderful Lucid Dream Herbal Bath and Candle Set. Remember, though, never go to sleep with candles burning. Blow them out before you lay down – the aroma will remain in the room long enough to help you fall asleep.
- A lot has to do with timing. Our most vivid dreams (which certainly include lucid dreams) occur during REM sleep (the deep sleep characterized by Rapid Eye Movement). A dreamer’s first REM phase usually happens about an hour and a half (or 90 minutes) after first falling asleep. Additional REM phases typically occur every 90 minutes afterward. Many experts suggest programming yourself to awaken during REM sleep, when you are most likely to vividly remember your dream, THEN try to fall immediately back to sleep and “jump” back into your dream. Did you know that you can encourage your body to have more REM sleep simply by keeping a regular sleeping schedule?
- Aromatherapy and Essential Oils. Using the right aromatherapy with the right essential oils can help you accomplish the tip above… deeper REM sleep!
- Arm yourself with knowledge. Build a library of books about lucid dreaming (some great books are shown below) and do diligent research on the subject. The more you understand lucid dreams, the more apt you’ll be to experience them for yourself.
- One more time, the bigger deal you make of your dreams.. the more you talk about them, research them, and thoroughly enjoy them… the more apt you will be to experience lucid dreams.
Prophetic Dreams: Do Dreams Come True?!
I guess a better question would be, “Can dreams come true?” The question to that one would be a cautious, “Yes.” I say cautious because they don’t come true BECAUSE we dreamed them. What’s more, they usually don’t play out the way we dreamed them.
I’ve told a lot of dreamers I’ve talked to lately that I’d try to explain everything to them about prophetic dreams or, simply put, when our dreams seem to come true.
Some people are, by nature, more intuitive than others. This means they are more “tuned into” or “dialed into” the world around them. Usually these people are also hyper, hyper sensitive. This doesn’t mean that they go around getting their feelings hurt all the time (though their feelings are easily hurt). It simply means that they FEEL things more strongly than other people. These are the people who cry easily when watching a sad movie or laugh uncontrollably when watching an old episode of The Andy Griffith Show. Often these people even get teary-eyed when an Olympian wins a gold medal – it’s as though they FEEL what the athlete is feeling.
These people are so intuitive to things and people around them that they can often perceive when trouble is brewing.
Here’s One Example:
A dreamer contacted me about a year ago about her sister’s car wreck. She was completely beside herself because she had dreamed that her sister was in a wreck – and three days later she WAS. The dreamer was extremely shaken, for obvious reasons. (The sister was treated in the hospital and released the next day.) I asked a few questions and learned that:
- The dreamer had always told her sister to slow down, because she drove too fast.
- The dreamer always suspected that her sister was guilty of texting when driving.
So, the dreamer worried a lot about her older sister. She was intuitive enough to know that her sister was, pretty much, a wreck waiting to happen. Her “prophetic dream” was really nothing more than her mind worrying as much while asleep as it did while awake!
I also learned that the dreamer felt guilty that she didn’t tell her sister about her dream. She told me that if her sister had died and she hadn’t told her about the dream, she would have kicked herself forever. I pointed out that as long as she’d warned her about her reckless driving, she’d more than done her part!
Intuitive people seem to “see” things coming. So much so that not listening to them seems kind of silly, doesn’t it?
Another thing that can lead to so-called Prophetic Dreams is just pure old snake-bitten worry.
Here’s An Example:
I remember a dreamer (a mother of four little boys under the age of 12, bless her heart!) once sending me one of the most heart-felt and emotionally charged e-mails I’ve ever gotten. She’d had a dream that something happened to one of her precious little boys. The grisly details and horror of the situation had left her (understandably) shaken. Our e-mails went back and forth a few times and it turns out that within one year:
- She had lost her job.
- An uncle had been diagnosed with cancer.
- A grandmother died.
- Her mother had a heart attack.
As I pointed out to her, her brain was pretty much taxed and wondering, “What next?!?!” In a worst case scenario type of reenactment, her brain played out the most horrific thing that could conceivably happen next. I think in a lot of ways our brains try to “brace” us for horrible things – especially when (like the mother of the 4 boys) we’ve been through so much. It’s as though the brain says, “Well, that, that, that, and that caught me off guard and nearly destroyed me… what horrible thing could possibly happen next?” For protective parents, 9 times out of 10 that scenario will involve our children or grandchildren.
No dream tells the future in the sense that it has some sort of mystical power. That simply does not exist. Can dreams seem to be prophetic? Of course. But it’s the situations and circumstances surrounding us that leads to the dreams and the more intuitive a person is, the more intense the dreams will be.
People who believe in mystical Prophetic Dreams almost always point to the “prophetic” dream that Abraham Lincoln had. He dreamed that he was killed. Given the fact that he was right in the middle of a major war and given the fact that many, many, many people (ignorantly) hated him, I’d say the dream made perfect sense! Of course he felt like people wanted to kill him… some did! I believe President Lincoln was one of the most intuitive people to have ever lived. He FELT the pain of slavery, even though he was not a slave. He FELT the pain of his fellow countrymen – from the North and the South. He FELT that many foolish people wanted him dead.
His dream makes perfect sense to me.
If you seem to have prophetic dreams, remember:
- You are, no doubt, very intuitive. This is a gift, not a curse. Being more tuned into the world around you than the average person is is a blessing in disguise. When you dream that a loved one has been hurt, ask yourself, “Did they do something recently that made me worry about them?” If it’s a child, this one will certainly be easy to answer – everything they do makes us worry! Ask yourself if you read, saw, or heard about someone else experiencing the type of thing in your dream. Many people will see a fight or death scene in a movie and “act it out” in different ways in dreams – sometimes weeks later.
- If life has been unkind to you lately, your mind is still trying to wrap itself around everything! The brain tries to process things even while we’re sleeping. It’ll act out really bizarre scenarios trying to make sense out of things that have happened.
- If you’ve experienced tragedies in your life – whether it’s the loss of a loved one, the loss of a job, or a broken relationship – know that your brain will “act out” in your dreams. It will probably involve people who had nothing to do with the tragedy or tragedies at all. Again, it’s the brain’s way of bracing for the worst. It’s like, “You weren’t braced for that… let me brace you for the absolute worst case scenario.”
One final example:
I, myself, once had a nightmare involving one of my daughters. Being a dreamologist, the first thing I did when I woke up was try to wrap my mind around the dream. It didn’t take long for me to remember that a few weeks before the dream, I’d seen her reach across a candle so closely that the sleeve of her gown nearly touched the fire. Being a mother, I of course, told her she could’ve caught on fire! As I was telling her how careful she needed to be, I listed other times when she’d barely escaped harm because she didn’t “pay enough attention to what was going on around her.”
All of this was fresh in my mind, apparently, because my brain played out a little movie, “What Will Happen if She Doesn’t Start Paying Attention!”
I hear from so many people about prophetic dreams and my heart goes out to them because, more times than not, they’re trying to protect someone they love. I just want to say that your dream does not mean they will get hurt. If they do something that worries you (such as the dreamer’s sister who drove too fast AND texted while driving or my own little live wire who never seemed to see past her own little nose!), calmly tell them that they’re worrying you and make them promise to be more careful. DO NOT tell small children or anyone who’s easily alarmed about a dream, though. The goal isn’t to scare the wits out of someone!
Always remember that dreams are just dreams, nothing more… nothing less. It’s your brain acting out scenes and situations while you’re sleeping. It’s not a crystal ball – there is no such thing.
Finally, some people who talk to me about these dreams and/or thoughts are often frustrated because other people don’t seem to believe them or they sort of make light of the situation. Not everyone understands what it’s like to be as intuitive as you are. Some people don’t understand that some people seemingly have a stronger connection to the world around them than they do. They’re more dialed in! Also, some people seem to have powerful connections between them – very special bonds. Parents and children, couples, and even siblings often have the bond. We are able to SEE potential for harm in someone’s life when we share a special bond with them. But the key word is potential.
Keep the sister who sped and texted in your mind. OF course there was potential for harm with her – she set the stage for it!
When disturbing dreams get you down or scare you speechless, take a deep breath. Remember all the dreams you’ve had that didn’t seem to come true at all. Think clearly and rationally and I know you’ll feel better right away. The more you worry and fret over a dream, the more likely you are to have similar dreams. This is why it’s VITAL to make peace with the dream and put it out of your mind as soon as possible.
Sweet dreams!
Dreams About Obstacles: When the Dream Stays With You
If your dream involved chaos and confusion, your subconscious mind is most definitely trying to tell you something! Below is a recent dream submitted to Dream Prophesy for dream interpretation. The dreamer is looking for the meaning of the dream because the frustrated feeling the dream left with her is lingering.
I hope you can help me with a recent dream I had. I woke up feeling so frustrated and confused and the feeling is still with me over 24 hours later. I have the feeling that my mind is giving me a message of some sort but I can’t figure it out. Here’s my dream. I was in a village in the middle of nowhere. The people didn’t talk at all. They didn’t even use sign language. I tried to communicate with them but they just looked at me, then looked at each other like I was crazy and they were amused by me. If they did make noise, I knew they would laugh at me.
Because no one would talk, I couldn’t figure out how to get out of the village and to the town. See, I knew that I had to leave the village and, for some reason, it was the most important thing in the world to get back to town. Whatever town it was!
Each time I tried to take off for a certain direction, I found trouble or a dead end then had to go back to the village, where everyone was looking at me like I was a crazy woman. The people were Indians – all dressed up like you’d see in a Western movie. Feathers, tomahawks, etc. They were so beautiful, but I hated them because they wouldn’t talk or help me find where I needed to go. I can’t describe how helpless and frustrated I was or how much I knew I needed to get to the town. But each way I tried lead to mountains or lakes or fire or wolves. Nowhere I went was the right way! I woke up completely frustrated and the feeling won’t go away. Please help so I can have peace of mind. Thank you. – Brenda
Brenda, fascinating dream! I can feel your frustration in your words and can practically see it in your dream symbols. The good news is that this dream’s meaning is pretty clear to me. The bad news is, you may have a little work in front of you for the peace of mind you’re looking for.
The first thing that came to my mind after reading your dream is this: Somehow you have lost your way in life and are, subconsciously, trying to find it. This doesn’t necessarily mean that you’ve gotten WAY off track in some area. It could be as simple as slacking off with a few goals or even New Year’s Resolutions. Many people, after trying to battle some particular goal they’ve set for themselves (losing weight, saving money, controlling their temper, quitting smoking….) will fall off the wagon, so to speak. They grow frustrated and even wonder if they can meet the goal – they often wonder if they should even try.
During this time, they can sort of lose their way. Their purpose in life is clouded by the clouds of doubt and frustration. This can quickly lead to great frustration.
Another instance of losing your way is if you allow other people to make choices for you. If you keep allowing someone else to decide where you go to school, where you work, what you eat, who you spend time with, what you wear (or any combination of personal choices) – you’ll eventually feel trapped and wonder where that person ends and you begin.
If you recognize your personal situation in either of the descriptions above, I’m sure you realize how frustrated your subconscious mind is. YOU are inside trying to get out! Whether you are in your own way, circumstances are holding you back, or someone else is in your way can only be determined by you.
The bottom line is that you essentially feel that you have lost your way. You find yourself lost within a situation that your subconscious mind wants out of. The way you longed for the “town” in the dream is symbolic for what you yearn for in your real life. The best way to figure this out is to simply sit down with yourself and have a good old-fashioned self-talk! Free yourself from all distractions and really get in touch with the real you – beneath the layers of day-to-day stress, responsibilities, relationships, etc. You will undoubtedly uncover what it is you feel is holding you back. This thing (whether it’s a personal trait, situation, or individual) is symbolic of the obstacles you kept encountering. You feel that, in life, something is in your way
The villagers represent helplessness. In some area of your life you feel helpless – just as helpless as the people were when they either refused to help you or didn’t know how.
One final thought about the dream symbols. The fact that the people, themselves, weren’t aggressive and the fact that the obstacles you met were not human obstacles leads me to think that the obstacle you face in your day to day life is probably yourself and/or circumstances. I believe that if your obstacle involved another human being, you would have encountered an angry or aggressive human in your dream. By contrast, they were silent. In society, we have often referred to people as dumb who refuse to speak. I believe this is an important symbol in the dream and believe that you somehow feel “dumb” because of your situation. Of course, that’s ridiculous because we all “lose our way” from time to time.
As for the dream staying with you, when this happens we can rest assured that our subconscious mind is deeply troubled and looking for answers.
I have complete confidence that you’ll get back on the right track right away. Keeping a Dream Journal is an excellent way to keep track of your dreams. They really help you sort things out.
Best of luck and thanks for sharing your dream!
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