Lost Keys and Recurring Dreams
Never a Fun Combination!
I was recently asked about “Lost Key” dreams – dreams that are obviously frustrating at best! The frustration is multiplied when the dreams are recurring, like this particular dreamer’s were. When a dream puts itself in reruns, it always leaves the dreamer perplexed.
Why is my mind doing this?!
The wonderful thing about “lost key” dreams is the fact that they’re usually pretty easy to interpret and analyze. Simply put… something’s missing! When we dream that we can’t find an object (or person, place…), the symbolism is generally of something we’re “looking” for in our day to day lives. This could refer to any number of things, such as:
- love
- peace of mind
- an answer to a particular problem
- better health
- weight loss
- money
- job or career
- car, house, or furniture
- better relationship(s)
- school or college
- how to find enough time for everything you need to do
- etc…
It could be absolutely anything that you’re searching for on somewhat of a daily basis.
When you have recurring dreams, you can rest assured that your subconscious mind is trying to tell you something. More importantly, it’s actually trying to “work something” out in the dream(s).
Our minds are amazing and complex things. The mind knows that when you’re asleep, all distractions are gone. The mind sees this scenario as the perfect time to “work out” issues or even hammer things out in an attempt to find a solution or a “best possible answer.”
If you’re experiencing recurring dreams (whether they’re about lost keys or something else), your mind is working hard to come up with an answer that’s eluding it. It may or may not mean that the problem is huge. In fact, if the problem WERE really big, it’d be pretty obvious to you when you were thinking about the dream.
Here’s an exercise that works for analyzing key dreams:
- Write down the first 3 things that come to mind after reading this question: “”What am I looking for that seems to be eluding me lately?” You may very well answer only one thing – if so, you certainly know your answer!
- If you do come up with 3 different answers and each seem to “weigh” the same in your mind, you’ll discover that you’re looking for more than you realized. If this is the case, it’d certainly explain why this dream is recurring. You’re looking for more than one answer.
- When coming up with the 3 (and remember there may only be 1 or 2), DON’T force it. If you have to pause and think, the answer isn’t that important to your subconscious mind. The answer(s) that really matter will come to you almost immediately.
More about Recurring Dreams in the next post.
How to Make Recurring Dreams Stop Repeating Themselves
When Our Subconscious Mind Becomes a Nag
Recurring Dreams are a problem for a lot of people. The biggest problem with dreams that repeat themselves is the fact that they’re almost always nightmares, unsettling dreams, or – in the very least – frustrating dreams.
It seems our best dreams never want to go into syndication!
Most people think that recurring dreams are always more important than other dreams. In fact, most people think of recurring dreams as “emergencies” and that their interpretation is a life or death issue.
While some recurring dreams recur because the issue is a very important one, some recur for a couple of other, harmless reasons:
- Sometimes recurring dreams keep happening simply because we keep thinking about them! We talk to other people about our recurring dreams, we think about them ourselves throughout the day… pretty much we invite them to keep coming back by giving them so much press and fanfare.
- Sometimes a recurring dream is just a nag. The dream may not even necessarily symbolize a MAJOR issue – sometimes it’s actually a MINOR issue. The problem is that it’s a MINOR issue that isn’t resolved yet. Think of it as your brain saying, “I’m going to nag you about this until you fix it.”
Here’s an example of a dream being a nag: Jamie kept dreaming about his deceased brother in law. Each dream found the brother in law needing help that Jamie was unable to give. Because the two were very close (“absolutely best friends”) these dreams were very sad and gut-wrenching. After reflecting on certain things (their relationship, the circumstances surrounding his death, and Jamie‘s grief), the recurring dreams meaning came out: Jamie felt incredibly bad about the fact that his brother in law didn’t have a “really nice” headstone on his grave. While this may seem like a small issue, it was enough of one to sort of haunt his dreams.
His mind was nagging him to do something about it. When he’d think about it during the day, he’d simply think about how he wished he could afford a nice headstone. He’d also push thoughts about his brother in law out of his mind because they made him sad. However, in his dreams, his mind wanted him to know that the feelings weren’t going anywhere!
His mind nagged him until he faced the problem and actively began saving money to buy a lasting tribute to someone who meant so much to him.
He didn’t have to wait until the headstone was actually bought for the recurring dreams to end. They stopped as soon as he made the decision to save money until the very important purchase was made.
Nagging recurring dreams can’t be stopped simply by realizing what your mind is trying to tell you. Your mind has to know you mean business!
If your mind is trying to convey a message to you, do everything in your power to get to the root of the problem.
A great exercise for analyzing and even interpreting a recurring dream is to grab a pen (or pencil) and paper. Think about the dream and write down any details about the dream that come to mind. As you’re writing the details, ask yourself, “What could THIS symbolize” or “What could THAT mean?” Very often, the dream’s meaning will be right in front of you.
If you’ve determined that there isn’t a core problem or issue, ask yourself if you’re paying too much attention to the dreams. If that’s the case, do all you can to put them out of your mind. Right before falling asleep, particularly, think about something as far removed from the recurring dream’s subject as possible.
Below are a few ideas that some people use to “clear” their mind before falling asleep:
- think about fun times you’ve had with family members – times when you didn’t have a care in the world
- watch a sitcom that’s 100 percent fun and care free (I Love Lucy, cartoons, Andy Griffith…)
- read something “light,” such as a romance novel, comic book, magazine…
- listen to music
- read poetry
- write poetry
- write in your journal – focusing on the things that went right during the day
Bottom line – once you’ve determined the dream’s meaning, put it entirely out of your mind!
Dreaming About Lost Loved Ones…
What Do These Disturbing Dreams Mean?
One of the most frequently requested dream interpretations on our dream blog had to do with dreaming about lost loved ones. For the month of June, the top 3 dream interpretation requests were for:
- dreams about lost loved ones, family members, friends…
- dreams about exes
- dreams about snakes TIED with Dreams about knives
I wasn’t too surprised with the requests, to be honest. These subjects are typically the ones I hear the most. I was a little surprised that “knife dreams” tied with snake dreams, though. They’re moving up in the ranks of disturbing dreams!
Dreams about loved ones who’ve died can sometimes be comforting and even enjoyable. I like to think of these dreams as our mind’s way of keeping our loved ones alive. We get to see their faces again and even spend time with them once more.
Why we dream about lost loved ones varies from one dream to the next. Sometimes we dream about them simply because we talked about them recently or thought about them that day. I recently had a dream about my mother-in-law for this very reason. She showed up in my dream because one of my daughters and I had been talking about her that very day. My daughters were pretty young when she died, so I like to keep her name and memory alive by talking about her. She was quite a character and I like for them to know that!
The dream was not disturbing in any way. She was simply eating supper with us. When I woke up, I couldn’t help but realizing that she looked EXACTLY like I remember her looking. She was even wearing the type of top (loud and floral!), pants, and shoes she always wore.
Some dreamers have similar dreams about their loved ones and wonder if the dreams mean something “deep” or “disturbing.” More times than not, they simply mean your mind is keeping their face in your life – and if you think of your dreams this way, they’ll disturb you less.
However, some dreams about lost loved ones ARE dark and unsettling. Our loved one may be in trouble, crying, or need our help – help that we’re often unable to give. Many experts believe that these dreams indicate that we have unresolved emotions surrounding their death – usually guilt of some kind. The thing about guilt is that 9 times out of 10 it’s completely unjustified. Oftentimes this “guilt” is very unrealistic and if we stand back and look at it rationally, we’ll realize there’s no way we could have possibly saved them.
Rather than guilt about their death, some dreamers feel guilty about how they treated them when they were alive. They’ll have ridiculous thoughts such as, “I should have spent more time with them…. I should have called him/her more…” These thoughts can lead to disturbing dreams My advice to anyone with these thoughts is to realize that if THEY had died in place of the loved one, the loved one would have probably had the same guilty thoughts. We NEVER feel like we did enough for a lost loved one. Ever. That’s just how it is.
Other times, unsettling dreams about lost loved ones may have more to do with us than them. We may feel that we’re developing some of the habits or traits they had or we may fear going down a road they went down. Sometimes fear of developing a disease the loved on had will cause disturbing dreams.
To keep your dreams about lost loved ones as light as possible, try to dwell on positive, happy thoughts about their life and push thoughts about their death, illness, and so forth out of your mind. It’s how they’d want it after all!
Finally, in times of stress, we may dream about a loved one simply because we associate them with a simpler, easier time. Very often, they represent the past to us and, let’s be honest, the past almost always looks simpler – even if it really wasn’t.
As for our loved ones “trying to warn us about something,” my first instinct is to say NO WAY. However, in a sense, this could be sort of possible. As I’ve said many times on Dream Prophesy, dreams are not (in and of themselves) prophetic. BUT, some people are much, much, much more intuitive or “in touch” with the world around them than others. These people can often “sense”danger because they are so incredibly in tune with everything and everyone around them. People like this often have dreams that seem “prophetic” simply because they are so uncommonly in touch with the world around them. They often “see” things other people don’t see and, therefore, their subconscious mind is able to sense perceived danger and potentially harmful situations.
If you are an overtly intuitive person, your dreams may, in fact, be somewhat prophetic in nature. Your subconscious mind may, indeed, use a lost love one to get its point across. And what better way than to get your attention than with a lost loved one?
Honey Dreams: The Dream Interpretation Depends…
What Does Honey Mean to You!?!
When I’m not given too many details – which is certainly the case here!! – it makes it a little tough to give a really accurate and thorough dream interpretation and analysis. However, I’m certainly going to try to do just that.
Honey, like countless other things in life, can actually be symbolic of more than one thing in dreams. A lot of the dream’s interpretation (meaning) has to do with what the dreamer is doing with the honey. For example, if the dreamer is eating the honey and enjoying the sweet taste, the honey is symbolic of pleasure and happiness. If the honey is “sticky” and the dreamer is trying to wash it off of their hands or something else, the honey is symbolic of a “sticky situation” the dreamer has recently experienced OR is symbolic of a situation the dreamer is afraid they’ll be “stuck” in.
Many times, if you see the word HONEY in a dream, it is symbolic of a sweetheart. More likely than not, he or she was on your mind before you went to sleep.
You can also get a pretty accurate dream analysis by asking yourself what honey represents to you. For me, personally, it’s a sweetener. Honey’s one of my favorite things in the world – in fact, I could eat it by the spoonful. To someone else, they may think of honey as something sticky. Naturally, honey would symbolize different things in our dreams.
Dream Analysis of a Potentially Life Changing Dream
One of the Best Dream Symbols I’ve Read About in a Very Long Time
Dream for Analysis:
This is a pretty detailed dream and I think I may know what the meaning is, but wanted to ask to be sure. First of all, I am a wife and mother in my 50’s. My 2 sons and 1 daughter have all moved out of the house. My husband works long hours and I’m left alone most of the time. My sons and their wives don’t come around much at all. Maybe 1 time a month. My daughter is in college 3 hours away, and used to come home every weekend. But she got a boyfriend who lives in her college town and she only comes home about once a month now. Each time she and my sons come over I tell them just how lonesome I’ve been for them and how empty my life is now. It seems to make them stay away even longer. I always tell my husband how down I am, but he doesn’t have any answers. He doesn’t even talk to me much anymore. He works, then comes home and reads the paper. When I try to tell him how I feel, we end up arguing.
I just wanted to give a little background info to let you know how lonely I am because I believe the dream’s meaning is tied to this sadness. My dream was very vivid and colorful, making it even more griping and intense. I felt all of the emotion just like it was real life. My family was all together at our home. My sons, their wives, my husband, and our daughter. Her new boyfriend was there too. Each time I sat beside one of these people they would either walk away or get up and move. Suddenly, in the dream I was wearing my nightgown and I instinctively pulled part of it up to my nose and realized it smelled bad. My gown smelled like dirty laundry or something. I started crying and kept saying, “I smell bad!” over and over again but none of them looked at me. They all kept talking to one another. I cried and told my husband, “I will change my gown, please don’t let anyone leave. I’ll put on another gown!” But he just looked past me then walked away.
I woke up with a profound sadness and (disturbingly) an overwhelming feeling of being unloved. Worst of all, I can’t shake the feeling even though the dream was two nights ago. Please help me because this dream is a black cloud over an already bleak life. – Katharine
Reading this dream made me nearly as sad as the dreamer, herself. There’s just so much sadness and discouragement in the words that I could practically see the dark cloud she spoke of myself. Below is my dream analysis for this particular type of dream:
Katharine, it’ll probably come as a surprise to you but the dream doesn’t really have as much to do with your husband and children as it has to do with YOU. I can certainly see how you’d think the dream depicted your family members “staying away from” or “avoiding” you, but the actual dream interpretation goes much deeper than this. The good… make that great!… news is that this particular dream is a perfect example of being able to use our dreams to improve the real world in which we live. Your dream is handing you a golden key to unlock the door to more happiness, peace, and contentment!
The fact that you, yourself, smelled the nightgown in your dream and realized that it was causing others to stay away from you is beautifully symbolic. I believe that, deep down, you realize that when you tell your husband and kids how miserable and unhappy you are that you are, in effect, pushing them away. This realization may be so deep down that it’s your subconscious doing the realizing!
Here’s the thing: People are DRAWN to people, places, things, and situations that make them happy. People, places, things, and situations that make them:
- feel good about themselves
- feel good about life
- laugh
- smile
- have fun
- in the end… people, places, things, and situations that they can’t wait to return to because they brought about so much happiness!
In your own words, you say that you tell your husband and children how “empty” your life is and how unhappy you are. Apparently you do this at just about every available opportunity. With all the respect, compassion, and genuine concern in the world – I have to ask you this: Why would anyone be DRAWN to that? The answer is they wouldn’t! They’d be PUSHED the other way and would even come to dread facing what must feel like guilt trips and depressing encounters.
Your subconscious mind is alerting you to this situation in your dream. I have to tell you, I get SO excited when I hear about dreams like this because – for one thing – dreams utterly fascinate me and when they are so DEAD ON like this one, it just blows my mind. Dreams and the subconscious mind are simply amazing. Also, I get excited because this type of dream proves what I’ve said all along – dreams have the power to change our lives for the better – IF we listen to them!
When you smelled your gown in your dream, the gown was symbolic of YOU. It was on you, just as your sadness, loneliness, and, perhaps, bitterness are on you. When you brought it to your nose and realized it was BAD – you knew it was the cause of everyone being pushed away. I even love the fact that you referred to the smell as being like “dirty laundry.” What do we often refer to bad things people keep talking about? Their dirty laundry.
This is your subconscious mind telling you that what you’re “wearing” in your day to day life is, in fact, driving everyone away.
I suspect that the arguments between you and your husband have gotten so out of hand that your marriage is on shaky ground. The fact that you plead to him in your dream (promising that you’ll “change” – literally!) tells me that the two of you may be nearing a breaking point. When we actually cry in our dreams, it always means serious, serious business.
On my self help blog (Self Help Daily), I frequently write about how to cope with empty nest syndrome because this is a subject women (and many men) battle as their children grow older, get jobs, boyfriends/girlfriends, etc. The waves of emotion can tear families apart if you aren’t careful. You aren’t alone – this is something a lot of people deal with. Just know that when you tell your loved ones how sad (lonely, empty…) you are over and over again – you are pushing them further away.
Your dream just sent you a powerful warning and I’m hoping you’ll take it to heart. If I were you, I’d plan a big family get together. Let your daughter know you’d love for her new boyfriend to get to know the rest of the family. Cook out, bake lasagna, or simply go out to your favorite restaurant. Whatever you do, this time wear something better than a “smelly gown” (frown, sad countenance, bitterness, anger…). This time put on your best! Wear a smile, give out hugs, ask everyone about their lives, jobs, school, etc. Smile more, frown less. Laugh more, cry less. Talk TO your loved ones and not AT them.
Basically, create the type of environment people can’t wait to enter, hate to leave, and can’t wait to return to.
Your wonderful dream has just handed you a life changer!
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