Woman Keeps Dreaming About Her Ex-Boyfriend
Even Though She Hates Him to Distraction!
I recently exchanged a few e-mails with a woman with a killer sense of humor. I can’t really share her dream, here, with you because…
- Over the course of 7 e-mails, it was all broken up.
- Her language… um… doesn’t translate to a PG blog!
I won’t even share her real name, here, so she can remain a mystery lady. We’ll call her Angela because it’s a cool name.
Here’s the basics of her dream: She had about 8 dreams about a particular ex-boyfriend. In each of the dreams, they were happy, laughing, and having a grand old time. She said the settings were always romantic (with one being in a fairy-tale type forest even). The dreams were everything the real life relationship was NOT. In the dreams, the ex boyfriend was funny and happy. He was always laughing and buying her great gifts. In reality, he was a real “sour puss” who was always miserable, unhappy, and seemed to have a “simmering anger inside of him.” In the two years they were together, she said he only bought her a couple of things, and they were only for Christmas and her birthday.
However, in each of her dreams, he would surprise her with her favorite candy and even her favorite Starbucks drink!
Angela feels that the years spent with her “D— Ex” were a complete waste of time and wonders what she ever saw in him in the first place.
I learned that she has not found the right guy yet. She says that her miserable years with her “D—- Ex” have made her afraid to take a chance on someone else. Apparently the break up was ugly and she is afraid of another disaster. Angela wanted to know why in the world she’s dreaming such lovely dreams about someone she… in her own words, “Hates to distraction.” In fact, in one e-mail, she said if he were in the road and happened to be on fire, she’d just roast marshmallows.
This dude left a great impression!
To add insult to injury, “D—- Ex” has moved on and is very happy. He’s engaged and, according to Angela they both smile a lot and seem sickeningly happy with one another.
The last thing Angela wrote was, Please don’t try to tell me I have feelings for this jerk because I don’t believe I do. I’d rather drink acid than even $%&@(&^ look at him.
Nah, she won’t hear those words from me. I don’t think for one second she still loves him or even likes him!
What does she LOVE? The idea of being in love. She LOVES (and wants) the very thing she pictured in her dream: Someone to laugh, smile, and have a great life with. Someone who IS her own Prince Charming… making her happy and even buying special things for her.
Who doesn’t want that?!?!
One of the most common dreams I hear about is the dream of an ex. I don’t think it’s the most common type of dream people have, but it does seem to be the one that upsets people the most! They’re almost always like Angela… “I hate him! Why am I dreaming about him?!” OR “Getting away from her was the best day of my life, why is she in my dreams?!?!” One man said, “I finally got free from her yelling and nagging, and here she is tormenting me in my dreams with that same screeching voice!”
That one made me laugh out loud.
Like Angela, a lot of people are looking for the same thing: LOVE. They want that special someone to watch tv with, go out to eat with, and talk about their day with. Our mind generally won’t “create someone new” for us in the dream. It wont’ conjure up Mr. or Mrs. Right. It will use people and faces that represent this person to us. For example: an ex boyfriend may be symbolic of the ideal boyfriend. An ex girlfriend may be symbolic of the girl you wish you could find.
By the same token, if you were to dream of a teacher, the role would probably be played by an ex teacher. It doesn’t mean they were a good one – it simply means they “fit” the title the brain needs them to fit.
Below are a few things I usually tell people about dreaming about exes:
- The dream usually has nothing to do with the exes, themselves. Never allow dreams to dictate your emotions. If you have “real” feelings for someone, you’ll think about them during the day, not while you sleep.
- The more you think about a particular dream (negative or positive), the more likely you are to dream it again. Don’t put an unpleasant ex on repeat!
- Sometimes, our subconscious mind will try to “work out” or “make sense of” things in the past – such as a failed relationship. It’s as though the brain says, “What went wrong? How can I not let that happen again? What could I have done differently?” If your brain seems to be on a quest for answers, think about the questions during the day. Writing down the answers may give you the closure you really need.
- I’ve read about hundreds of dreams (probably thousands, actually), and I’ve had “follow ups” with most of these dreamers. I have never…. not once… had a dreamer who was dreaming about an ex because there was still love there. Never.
While there are exceptions (of course), generally speaking – an ex is an ex for a reason. It did not work. Your subconscious mind wants your next relationship (especially if it’s a current one!) to work. These dreams are simply your mind’s way of looking for answers so that something bad/negative doesn’t happen again.
Dream Analysis: When You Dream That You Have an Epic Fail!
I wanted to tell you about a recent dream interpretation / dream analysis I gave a dreamer. It’s always pretty cool when I hear back from someone, affirming the dream’s interpretation – which was the case this time.
Below are the dream she sent me, my response to her, and her follow up reply.
Her Dream:
This is kind of an unusual dream, in that few people would understand the frustration I felt during the dream. First of all, let me say that my favorite pastime or hobby is photography. I am always taking pictures and there is no place I’d rather be than photographing something or someone. I don’t like to cook or sew, do crafts, or anything like that. I just take pictures. In fact, when my grandson, who is in kindergarten, draws pictures of me, I always have a little circle thing in my hand that he says is my “camwa!”
In my dream, my husband and I were at a big, beautiful Native American Reservation. Something else that fascinates me is Native Americans, their culture, their history, and their beauty. There were Indians everywhere! Big beautiful headdresses, teepees, Native American crafts – everything. They were putting on a special program in my dream, showing how they made the crafts, built teepees and weapons, and the women were showing how they made dresses and cooked. I felt so much happiness in the dream. But when I reached in my bag and got my camera to begin taking pictures, the camera was dead. No battery!
My husband said it didn’t matter because we could still have a great time. He said something cheesy like take pictures with your mind’s camera. I told him about that the next morning and he laughed.
The thing is, the dream was so vivid and colorful and beautiful. By contrast, the frustration and disappointment I felt was so dark and horrible. It ruined the trip for me because I didn’t have my camera and I hated myself for not charging my battery before we went.
I’ve been thinking a lot about the dream since then because it was so “real” and there was so much going on. It was one of those dreams that stays with you and I was anxious to hear what you have to say about it. – Fran
My Dream Interpretation and Analysis:
Fran, the dream sounds like it was a beauty! Ironically, I also love to to take pictures (mentally as well as with a camera! – the comment was a little cheesy, but kind of cute, too!) and am also incredibly fascinated with Native American history. When I read your dream, I realized how frustrating I would have felt! Fortunately my husband also usually has a camera with him. When I read your dream’s dilemma, my first thought was, “I’d SO take my husband’s camera from him!”
Your dream beautifully and perfectly points to one thing: You’ve recently let yourself down in some way. Through something you did (or didn’t do), a mistake you made, a shortcoming, or an oversight – you disappointed yourself. I have a feeling it was one of those moments when you thought, “I could just kick myself!” – or words to that effect! The fact that, in the dream, your husband didn’t feel disappointed or upset points to the fact that this “letdown” was a personal one, for you, that affected only you.
I believe that our dreams don’t just “play out” things that have happened in our lives. I believe they also try to guide us, encourage us, and sometimes even admonish us. I think the fact that the dream was on such a grand scale was your subconscious mind’s way of saying, “You will remember this, and you will remember the disappointment!”
And you do!
– Joi
Her Response:
Oh my goodness! Tha’ts perfect, Joi. It’s perfect. My jaw just dropped. Last year, I lost a much-needed 25 pounds. I was well on my way to losing enough to get to my goal weight. I had been losing by walking my dog Gypsy each morning and each night. Gypsy developed a heart problem (and enlarged heart that her vet said she probably always had, but is just beginning to cause her problems). She is fine, but I’m scared to walk her any more. I don’t want to walk alone, so I have not been walking. Walking isn’t fun without Gypsy. My walking came to an end, so I thought that I’d just start watching what I eat and handle my weight that way.
The day of the dream, I weighed myself and cried. I had gained back 13 of the 25 pounds I had lost. I undid all that good and felt so disappointed and bad. I was angry at myself and sad at the same time. It is so VERY ironic that you said the words in your e-mail because I said the words to Gypsy, I told her that I could just kick myself. I’m just still in shock that you knew the words. Wow. Thank you! – Fran
The cool thing about her dream and her response is this: I had a feeling what the “problem” was. Sometimes we females understand one another so much you’d think we had esp! When you dream that you’ve disappointed yourself, you probably have done so in your life, to some point.
Use the dream as a tool – it’ll give you a self help and self improvement edge! When making any type of improvement in your life, don’t look back – look around (at your circumstances and situation) and look forward (to your goal). Look back into the past only long enough to see where you took a wrong turn (or wrong turns!) and then resolve not to make those again. We all let ourselves down from time to time – because we’re all human. The trick is not to stay down.
In a response to Fran, I told her to look back on her 25 lb weight loss as “practice,” an awesome dress rehearsal! I also pointed out that it should serve as a great deal of motivation to her – she proved she can do it. I also pointed out that she didn’t “undo” all the good – she still lost 12 pounds. A lot of people would LOVE to lose 12 pounds!
Dream Interpretation: What Does it Mean When You Dream About Spitting Up Blood?!
Blood is symbolic of life, so when you dream about blood, you are dreaming about someone.
Her’s a recent dream submitted for interpretation:
I had a dream 4 or 5 nights back that’s still bothering me. The dream was so vivid and real-like that I can’t get it off of my brain. I dreamed that I was in a bathroom. It wasn’t my bathroom at home. It was like it was in a hotel or something. I went to the sink and started spitting up blood. In my dream it didn’t seem to worry me as much as it would in real life. If I spit that much blood up while awake I would go to the doctor or call an ambulance! The sight of all the blood will not get out of my mind and I just want to know what the dream means. I’m also kind of concerned that the dream is staying with me so long. Does that mean anything? Thank you so much. – Paul
Paul, I’m with you – I’d run to the doctor if I spewed blood! First of all, dreams that involve VIVID things like blood, spiders, snakes, pain, fear, etc. tend to stay with us a while. Sometimes a few weeks or longer. This isn’t anything to worry about, however, if the dream is nightmarish, the sooner you can try to shove it out of your mind, the better. Otherwise, it may repeat itself, which is the last thing you want. You are actually doing the best thing in the world to overcome the dream’s hold and that’s getting to the bottom of the meaning. When we understand what our dreams mean, we’re able to move on and not look back.
Dreams of spitting things up (or physically expelling things in other ways) are symbolic of the desire to get rid of something (a situation, job, car, problem, hassle…). When the thing expelled or spat out is blood, things get a little more interesting. Blood is symbolic of LIFE, so dreaming of spitting out blood means you don’t want some THING gone, you want some ONE gone! Naturally this doesn’t mean you want to harm them or anything malicious, you just want them out of the way. It could be that you just want them gone temporarily.
I heard from a woman, once, who dreamed that she spat up blood and it turns out she wanted her boss to take a job in a different state. I also remember a young boy in high school a few years ago who dreamed of spitting blood and it turns out he wanted an ex girlfriend to leave him alone. I, myself, once had a dream about spitting up blood around a time we lived next to a she devil. The woman had a nasty disposition and I knew, the minute I woke up, who I wanted to “spit out” of my life!
As with all dreams, there are exceptions, and I’m never one to say with 100 percent certainty what a dream means or doesn’t mean BUT more times than not, if you dream of spitting blood, you want someone to move away, leave you alone, or simply get out of the picture for a while…. or for good!
Some people might ask, “If blood means life, could you be dreaming about getting rid of something in your own life when you dream about spitting blood?” Again, anything is possible. However, when we dream about getting rid of something in our own life, it’s generally not a “spitting” dream. For example, if we want to lose weight, many times we’ll dream about losing things. If we want to stop doing something, we’ll often dream about things (even ourselves) that STOP doing a particular thing.
When it comes to “spitting out,” we’re almost always referring to someone else, as we can’t very well spit ourselves out.
Obviously, dream analysis and dream interpretation are excellent ways to get in touch with your emotions. Dream journals are of the utmost importance when it comes to remembering your dreams. Sometimes, the dream’s meaning lies hidden in small details you’ll overlook if you don’t write them down. Keeping a Dream Journal is fun and can help whether you’re interpreting your own dream or providing details to a dream interpreter.
What Does It Mean to Dream About a Tree?
Tree Dreams Often Symbolize Life…
A recent reader recently asked for a dream interpretation and dream analysis of a very “vivid” dream.
I recently had a dream about trees. Trees were the main part of the dream that I can remember. They were surrounding me. The bright and beautiful colors of green are the thing I remember the most. I did see the sky and trunks of the trees, too – so browns and blue were also in my dream.
I felt so peaceful in my dream. I can’t even describe how cool this dream was. Everything was right in the world for me in my dream. It was just me and a lot of trees. I kept looking up at them and even thought how they looked like they were touching the sky. Does this seem like a strange dream to you? What does it mean? – Megan
First of all, the dream doesn’t seem at all strange to me – it seems perfectly wonderful! Trees are often symbolic of LIFE in our dreams. While there are exceptions, I believe that your dream is a classic example of this interpretation.
The fact that you “looked up” and noted that they “looked like they were touching the sky” are great news for your dream analysis. This indicates that you believe that things in your life are “looking up.” So much so that, in your heart, you believe that “the sky’s the limit!”
This is a very positive dream and you should feel 100 percent good about its meaning. This dream indicates that you are in a very good place in your life right now and feel very hopeful for the future.
Very often, green in dreams is symbolic of jealousy or envy – but, when the context is a positive one (without any hints of negativity), green symbolizes peace, contentment, and total freedom from doubt and worry.
Thanks for sharing your beautiful dream, Megan, and I hope you have many more just like it!
Dream Analysis: What Does it Mean to Dream Of Packing a Suitcase?!
Suitcase dreams, or dreaming about packing, have more than one dream interpretation or meaning. Remember, when a dream symbol or dream topic has different meanings, you have to look at all of the circumstances in the dream, including your emotions during the dream and immediately after waking. Also, examine what’s going on in your real life. It’s sort of like unraveling a mystery, which is always fun!
Also remember that packing anything (trunk, suitcase, bag..) carries the same interpretations.
Possible Dream Interpretation #1
Packing a suitcase in a dream, or even just dreaming about a suitcase or carrying bag can imply an intense need to get away. There is a situation or even a person that you want to pack up your life and run away from. If this is the dream analysis for you, your emotions in the dream will probably be anxious. You may be excited and happy (at the though of escaping something undesirable).
Possible Dream Interpretation #2
You may be looking forward to (or even a little intimidated by) beginning a new chapter in your life. Many times when we are starting school, moving into a new house, or starting a new job, our emotions carry over into our dreams. Suitcase and packing dreams are common while we are going through changes in our life. The dream symbolism is that you’re moving into a new part of your life.
If, during the dream, you encounter problems (such as the suitcase won’t close, you are having to pack in a hurry, you can’t find something, etc), it’s a sign that you are apprehensive and maybe even a little insecure about these changes.
Possible Dream Interpretation #3
You may need a vacation! You have probably said, or at least thought, (in the past few weeks) that you need a vacation. Suitcase/packing dreams are your brains way of saying, “Yes, you really do!”
Only the dreamer knows for certain which dream analysis is his or hers. Remember to closely examine your emotions during the dream, when you wake up, and even now – as you remember the dream. These emotions tie into the dream analysis in a MAJOR way.
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